7 Down, 2 Months to Go!

I have been spending so much time reading OTHER people's writing lately that I haven't written anything for myself in quite some time. But now I can happily say as I finally become more proficient at grading papers, preparing for the day of teaching, calling parents, etc. etc. I am able to regain my life back. In these first few months of teaching I've learned SO much it's hard to begin to articulate. However, assuming I'm blessed enough/crazy enough to be able to try this whole teaching thing again next year, there are a few things I want to write down.

These past seven months have been packed full of troubles, with a few glimmering memories shining through as well. I've watched one student be expelled. Dozens suspended. I've heard hateful comments. I've heard threats. To others, and also to me. I've heard "I hate this class because I HATE writing!" so many dozens of times, despite my diligent efforts to spice things up with a year-long autobiography, the Grammar Olymics, and numerous creative writing activities. I've co-directed my first school play.I've served on commitees, I've watched students serve detentions. Before school. During School. After School. I've worked. I've worked on Sundays, I've been at work at 9:00 p.m. I've broken down in front of co-workers, and in front of superiors. I will never break down in front of my students.

Yesterday, I was at (another) bottom low, wondering, "Why don't they see I'm trying SO hard?" "Why can't they forget I'm the 'new' teacher?" But God must still want me in this, because this morning when I got to work, I opened my email and I found this:

Hello Ms. D.,

I know some students disrespect you but I just wanted to let you to know that I think you’re a really cool teacher. I know everybody hates doing essays but I love writing them. I was sad last year when you left my social studies class. But yea you’re an awesome teacher!

Every tear I've cried, hour I've devoted beyond my modest paycheck, every ounce of effort has been worth it, because one student cares. That's all it takes: ONE, to make it all worth it. No, this has not been the first student that has told me she's enjoyed my class. But I can tell you the ratio of difficult situations far outnumber the pleasant words, but these moments are so precious that they outweigh any number of difficulties.

Every moment of every day cannot be exciting. Yes, I can play games, have students write to businesses and international students, use food to incorporate sensory detail, and so forth, but every second cannot be this thrilling. This is a writing class, and sometimes, we have to do just that-write!

Kids don't dislike "Katie" they only dislike "Teacher Katie." It took me a REALLY long time to realize no matter how hard I try to connect, no matter how friendly yet fair I can be, some kids just won't like me. Whether it's because of something I said on the first day of school, or a plain clash in personalities, I won't be liked by EVERY. SINGLE. KID. But! It's not me that they dislike, it's the TEACHER me. I have grown a much tougher skin, and learned not to take things personally.

Take the time to form relationships. At the start, I was sooo busy all the time. Busy planning. Busy grading. Attendance, lunch count, so many little things to think about, it was all I could do just to get through the day in one piece. Now, I realize that it's those little deposits that make kids respect you. It's all about MUTUAL RESPECT. If a kid is feeling down, however irrational their woes may be, it means the world to them if you just take the time to say a kind word, pay a compliment, write a nice note. That one small gesture can be cashed in for a positive rapport for weeks on end.

When I was in college, there was a brief point in time, during my sophomore year, when I thought perhaps I had made a mistake, and I had another calling besides teaching. Completely distraught over what to do, I met with a very wise professor who gave me this analogy:

"If you were offered cherry and apple pie, you may not know which to choose. However, if someone told you, Katie, that you couldn't have a piece of apple pie, would that make you want it even more?" I thought about it, and then realized it would. We realize our true desires when they are being taken away from us.

Now, as the school year comes to a close, my job is on the line. Due to budget cuts, I may or may not have a teaching position for next year. I have spent months trying to decide if I want to teach, let alone stay in the district. When I was told I may not have a choice, my heart dropped. That's when I realized that no matter how difficult it may be, my true desire is to teach. I don't feel like I'm ready to be done in  my district yet. I am very much looking forward to that second year, when I'm just a little bit better than the first year. I sincerely hope I get the opportunity to have that "second year," but I know one thing for certain. No matter where I end up, I am still meant to teach.

Lynn & Cici's Visit

Today, I took Lynn and Cici in to show them my classroom. Cierra was very eager to use the electric pencil sharpener, but unfortunately, I had sharpened all of my own pencils already. So, I found another teacher who very willingly donated some pencils to the cause. Lynn thought everybody at the school was sooo nice and the building itself was great, too.

After I took them home, I came back again to get some more work done. However, I didn't realize that the students were getting their schedules and there would be tons of middle schoolers and families roaming the halls. So, ready or not, I met many parents since most of my students from last fall popped their heads in to say hi. I'll go back tomorrow, and then take the weekend off 100% to be ready for Monday. Getting SO excited!

The First Few Days

Having really enjoyed looking back at my blog from teaching in Taiwan, I decided I am going to try and blog some of my first year of school. So, here's what's happened so far...

After applying to over sixty school districts and hearing "for sure" that the position at the school where I had student taught wouldn't be filled, I completely ruled it out of my mind. However, in mid-June, I recieved a phone call from my mentor teacher letting me know that they had decided to fill the 7th and 8th grade English teacher position after all! I was completely elated, and had forgotten how much I loved it there until that moment, when I hung up the phone and began screaming and calling everyone I knew. Following was a six-week long interview process, and then..............

I GOT THE CALL THAT I HAD THE JOB! I had been questioning a lot, wondering if maybe it wasn't meant to be, but once I got that phone call my eyes filled with happy tears and I felt so lucky that I would be able to be a teacher after all. Then came another month of hard work at AU, while trying to prepare little things here and there on the side, and then last week it all became a reality.

I loaded up my car with all of my "teacher stuff" that I have been collecting since I was fifteen. It had seemed like so much crammed into closets, dorm rooms, and finally my car. However, when I finally got everything into the classroom I realized that it really wasn't much at all! I began making a list of things to buy ($$) and bustling around the room. I really didn't know where to begin first, but I just couldn't stop smiling because it was MY classroom. MINE....every person I passed in the hallway stopped me and said, "Woah, you look WAY too happy for the first day back."

After spending several full days preparing the bulleting boards, shopping for supplies, etc. the phyiscal stuff is finally complete. I have a renewed appreciation for all the time and money that teachers really do put into their classrooms, and must say I am quite pleased with how mine turned out.

Today, I went into school again to begin some of the planning. Everyone was ultra-friendly, welcoming, and helpful. I talked with many of the teachers and met my new principal. He was actually a teacher and had already began setting up his fourth grade classroom when they asked him to move up and fill the position!

A couple volleyball girls ran up to me in the hallway and exclaimed "Ms. D, you're our new English teacher!!" and one girl pretty much leapt into my arms, which was a little weird, but I like the enthusiasm, I suppose. It'll be a huge asset to know so many students already.

Anyhow, it's funny how things come full circle. Never, IN A MILLION YEARS, would I have EVER guessed I'd be winding up here in Ashland. However, it couldn't feel more right. I know it'll be crazy-busy hard work, with some rewarding days and some awful, but I LOVE my staff, LOVE, my students, LOVE my new house, and LOVE my new life, so it'll all be ok :-)